Video with 1 note
Hearing about ANOTHER teen suicide pushed me over the edge last night. EricJames killed himself on Wednesday 1-11-12. I had to make a video and get it off of my chest. We need to make change. This needs to stop happening. The video is 12 mins long, but please take the time to watch it.
My New Year’s Day was eye opening. And even more so the first Monday of the year. My friends wrote a poem that was more so on the side of a poetic intervention piece. They read it at Back To The Grind during open mic night. I was moved and touched to feel that much care. But it was bittersweet. I realized that I really do have a problem and that I need to take this year to make sure that I change.
I wouldn’t say that my problem is alcohol in it’s entirety. I believe that it is my inability to cope with my emotions in a healthy way. And with that, I run to alcohol to drink the pain and worry away. When I’m drunk, I don’t care about anything. That has been my escape for the passed six months or so. And before I knew it, I was drunk just about every day… and definitely on the days/nights that I didn’t work or have work the next day.
I am not happy with where I have gotten myself. I look at myself in the mirror and I feel disgusted. I reflect on my productivity and I shake my head to myself because I have not grown in the last six months. I’ve dropped and hit rock bottom.
They say, there is only one way to go and that is up once you’ve hit bottom… So I have a hell of a climb ahead of me. Here it goes!
Photoset reblogged from Sick of Sarah Fans with 27 notes
THIS is Sick of Sarah! SoSers, how much did you love them this year? You have three days left in 2011 to spread the word as much as you can for this year.
2012 will bring us a new album, another UK tour and possibly an unhealthy amount of North American tours, as usual. Go forth, make more fans!
Source: sickofsarahfans
I’ve been drinking a lot.
It’s hard for me to go a week without drinking.
Honestly, I probably drink every day… and on the days that I don’t work the next day I get drunk. Otherwise, it’s a few beers and maybe a shot.
I have a problem.
I’m not letting myself feel.
Post with 1 note
Love is a balloon. Feelings grow and continue to grow, like air filling a balloon… until finally when it reaches its limits, it pops and all of the air (feelings) are let into the atmosphere and are lost.
Fucking someone can be based solely on lust and attraction. You don’t necessarily have to like the person (and by like, I say it as in having some feelings for the person). Fucking is just fun and careless. Fucking is a release of endorphins, a moment of a physical high that is great… and you don’t have to worry about what the other person has planned the next day. You can do your own thing without having to plan your week with the other person to see when you two can spend time together again (That is, unless you are pre-planning another sexy time rendezvous).
Liking someone is more in depth. It is getting to know someone. Taking time to learn about them and what made them, them. It is enjoying their company not only physically but emotionally as well. It is letting them get to know you by letting them in beyond the surface. It is being vulnerable and allowing attractions to grow into feelings which grow into bigger feelings.
I like fucking people… but I fucking don’t like liking people. Lol. Too honest?
Today I am over her.
I saw her Tuesday and it didn’t phase me at all. She is still beautiful. She has eyes that captured my heart once, for far too long. But now, it’s gone.
Finally.
And since then, I’ve felt better and have been breathing easier and have thought less about the past and focused more on me. Life is good. I’m finally free.
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